Why does it have to be black and white all the time?

Here’s the problem with most mommy blogs: they looooooove to paint things as black and white, and then say “but we’re all in this together!  each family should do what works for them (but really, they should do what I’M doing)”.

Home birth vs. hospital birth.  Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.  Co-sleeping vs. nursery.  Public school vs. private school vs. Waldorf vs. Montessori vs. Reggio vs. charter vs. homeschooling vs. unschooling (can you tell I spend a lot of time thinking about education?). Stay-at-home vs. working parent.  It doesn’t end.  Even the tiniest of things become an all or nothing situation.

Why all the judgement?  Why all the negativity?  Why the mommy wars?  Why the “you’re either with me or against me mentality?  Just why?

I understand judgment.  I do.  I don’t think a person can make a big decision without there being some judgement there.  It’s human nature.  But why reduce it to an either/or level???

I had a midwife, and had planned an unmedicated homebirth.  Well, Georgia had other plans, and so I delivered at KGH instead.  And the unmedicated part?  Didn’t happen.  I needed rest if I was going to deliver vaginally, so I asked for a shot of morphine.  It was one of the best decisions I made in labour.  I am glad that I had the option of going to the hospital and receiving amazing care in what had the potential to be a dangerous situation.  I am also glad that I had a team of midwives to help me have as natural a birth as possible.  I do not think my situation needed to be reduced to an either/or situation.  I had the best of both worlds.

Life is not black and white.  Things change, flexibility is needed.  Life is full spectrum, and so is parenting.


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