October 31st: Just a quiet evening at home.

Yesterday was Halloween.  My facebook was covered in status posts about what people were wearing, how they were celebrating, what movies they were watching.  Pictures have been uploaded.  I can now peek in on all the fun, because really?  I didn’t have any. It was a very quiet Halloween for this lady.  I spent most of the night reminiscing about the past, and fantasizing about the future.

I have a photo from my first Halloween.  Katie is dressed as a mummy.  Allison is a devil.  Dad is Dad, and Mum is taking the photograph.  And I am a Butterbear.  Do you remember Butterbear?  In the eighties there was this short-lived Saturday morning cartoon called “The Wuzzles”, and it featured these weird animal hybrids.  Butterbear=bear with wings and antennae.  It was an easy costume for my parents to create: they just added ears and antennae to a hooded fleece bunting bag, and Dad carried me around while he took the big girls trick or treating.

When I think about it, most of our costumes were homemade or second-hand.  I have been a clown, a mouse, a princess, a rock star, a gypsy, a “space cadet”, Dr. Suess, Columbia from Rocky Horror, a post-apocalyptic fairy, a butterfly, the sky, a bee, a bubble gum princess, and a few random totally thrown together at the last minute probably sexy “freaks”.  Truth be told, my costumes were much better when my mum was in control…they got a little weak during high school and university, probably due to a lack in time, funds, and caring.  My bee costume and bubble gum princess costumes (2009 and 2010) were pretty spectacular, and were both personal creations inspired by a trip to Value Village.  I tried to wear my bee costume yesterday.  The antennae and the wings fit just fine, but the yellow shirt would not fit over my pregnant belly (and barely fit over my mammoth mammaries). At least Jason had a good laugh at my expense when I attempted to squeeze myself into the costume.

I guess I’m a bit bummed out because there are so many fun things I could have done with my pregnant belly, and I didn’t.  There are some fantastic maternity costumes out there, and guess what?  I am rocking a seventh-month belly.  Now is the perfect time to dress it up.  But a lack of funds, and a lack of plans kept me from doing anything creative.  I put a lot of time and energy into my costume last year, because I was teaching a grade nine drama class and figured it was the perfect place to go all out in terms of a costume.  The bee costume from the year before came because I wanted so desperately to have a little fun at my crummy job (Irving gas station attendant, woohoo).  But there wasn’t really a good reason to dress up this year, no parties, no trick or treating in our student housing complex, no outings to see classic scary movies or Rocky Horror or anything like that.

The only reason to dress up would have been because I wanted to.  Even if I had been “all dressed up with no place to go”, it would have been fun.  It would have given me a chance to get creative and crafty.  Instead, I sat at home and moped, and dreamed about the past and the future, instead of living in the present.  I wont make that mistake again.



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